Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
