You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
