i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
