you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
