he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
