Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
