Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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