Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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