dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
