pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
