FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
