he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
