hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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