We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
