Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
