he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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