oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
