so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
