it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
