Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
