I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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