quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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