Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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