last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
