Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
