So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize