What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
