do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
