sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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