one word: firstdatebathroomanal
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Everclear isn't food dammit
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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