therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
