i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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