i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
