You're completely useless in the revolution.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
