How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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