glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
