why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize