i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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