Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
