Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize