her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
