and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
