No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
