I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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