i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
