Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize