She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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