Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
