i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just want nice things and good sex
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
