Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
