I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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