No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
