We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize