Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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