Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
