Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
