he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
