At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
