They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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